It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I am midnight drunk by noon
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
