so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Your cock deserves a montage
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
