I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
