1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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