He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
