We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
