yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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