I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
