That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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