with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
