I think I just saw someone hide a body.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
