i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
