Small penises have feelings too.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
