i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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