also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
