I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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