i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
