I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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