I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
