also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
