apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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