Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
