Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
we have officially lost it.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
