Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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