paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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