I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
