dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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