so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Even my vagina gasped.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
