So drunk, too bad you don't want this
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
being pregnant is like rehab
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
