Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
