I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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