Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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