We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
