some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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