Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
