I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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