Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
