I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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