I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
