I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
