So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
