I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
