The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
