Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
