Kiss
Puke
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
