Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Found your dick twin last night
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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