someone get that fucking seahorse.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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