i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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