Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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