O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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