There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
