went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
