just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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