i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
