I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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